We Do Recover

My recovery didn’t start to blossom until I moved into my Oxford House. I kept putting a of couple months together and then relapsing. It wasn’t until I added the sober living foundation and fellowship to my plan that my sobriety blossomed and I made it past a year clean. I’m a single mom and I live in a mommy and me Oxford House. This place has saved me and my daughter.

I was born in a small town in northern New Mexico. I started drinking when I was 8 and started experimenting at the age of 11!! I got hooked on methamphetamines and I continued doing that until I was 35!!! I'm ex-army and did that until I was 26 yrs old. I have three kids (two girls, one boy). I have been married for 14 years. I went to a year-long program and then came in to Oxford house on October 22, 2018 and I have been on this journey ever since!! I've done all the House positions and have done chairperson, secretary, and housing services chair!!

My name is Bear and I'm a man in long-term recovery, what that means to me is that I've recovered from the seemingly hopeless state of mind and body because I've not taken a drink or used a drug since July 5, 2019 and I have worked a 12 -step program.

When I was getting close to the end of my stay at a rehab facility in South Carolina, I had no idea what the next move was going to be. My parents wouldn’t let me stay with them and my brothers felt the same way; my now ex-wife was in Colorado and didn’t want me. I was at a loss. It was suggested to me that I look at a sober living house in Charlotte, North Carolina. So, I did and I found one, it was not an Oxford House. It was an independently owned “company” that had a few houses scattered through Charlotte. I talked to the owner and, since my parents were willing to ‘loan me’ (write a check to the owner so I didn’t use it on other stuff) the money to move in and live. I didn’t know what to expect and, when I got there, I was horrified. It was filthy, not welcoming at all, and very little direction was given. I spent my first few days alone, cleaning the filth to stay busy and going to meetings with the guys at night. I was sober so that was good, right? About a week in, I noticed my roommate was drinking in the room and hiding it. I brought it to the house manager's attention and he said, “It'll be taken care of”. I had that same talk two more times. After a little over a month, I had had enough. I was working on Step Three with my sponsor and I told him that I was done; I was going to give up and move back to Colorado, beg my wife to take me back, and grovel for my job. It was a ‘just leave in the middle of the night’ type of deal. While I was saying this, my sponsor’s phone got a text message from his buddy, an Oxford House outreach worker. It was asking if he knew anyone who was looking for a bed. A bunch of guys were moving out of one house on the same day. I was given a number and an address and was told to pick up the phone and dial.

The next day I had an interview at Oxford House Stillwell Oaks in Charlotte, NC. I was scared and had no idea what to do or what to expect. When I got to the house, I was welcomed at the front door, asked how I was doing, and asked if I'd like to see the place before we talked. As we were walking around the house, I noticed that it didn’t reek of depression and guilt, it smelled like fabuloso and hope. By the time I was done talking and laughing with the guy who gave me the tour, he said, “I like your vibe.” Anyway, the members of that Oxford House voted me in and the next day I was moving in. That was on a Thursday. That Sunday was chapter and my sponsor said to get involved so, at that chapter meeting in new business, they asked if anyone wanted to be Housing Service Chair. Since no one volunteered, my hand went up. I had no idea what that entailed but I was now the Housing Service Chair for Chapter 22.

As I went to different houses, I learned the Oxford House Model, then I started teaching the model to others. I had found not a house but a home to live in, to grow in, to recover in. I know I was voted in as Housing Service Chair because no one else wanted to do it and the chapter members just wanted the meeting over, but I’m so glad it happened,

Oxford House has taught me how to work with people, how to budget money and time, how to take constructive criticism, and how to live with others when all I knew was how to take from others. Oxford House is a huge part of my story and I thank God every day that Oxford House was there for me and will be there for thousands more just like. It has given me a blessed home to live in, and I am proud to be employed by Oxford House too. I have never been disappointed in saying ‘yes’ to Oxford House. If you're new and reading this, don’t be afraid to raise your hand, volunteer for a committee, and get out of your comfort zone. I promise that it will change your life in the best way possible. Bear Jarrells, Outreach Worker, Wilmington. NC

Hello, my name is Madison and I am a person in long-term recovery! To me that means that I haven’t found it necessary to change the way I feel using a mood- or mind-altering substance since December 10, 2019. I’m from the Outer Banks. I was raised in a one-parent household where I never saw any drinking, smoking, or breaking the law. I was brought up by my mom, aunt, and grandmother equally; they all played a monumental role in the person I am able to be in sobriety. I picked up my first drink when I was 13 and over the course of 10 years, I would cause chaos, destruction, and make choices that ultimately led me to be homeless at the age of 23. I hadn’t made it to a quarter-century old, and drugs and alcohol were my God. I went to treatment in Raleigh, NC for the first time in 2018. After a year and a half of fighting myself, I was finally able to build a foundation in recovery and got sober the following year. I spent 390 days in treatment (that time) and moved to my first Oxford House on January 3, 2021. My initial goal was to just do enough so I would stay in compliance and after 90 days, I said I would be gone! Upon my first experience, I had no intention or desire to learn or be a part of anything, I just wanted to “do my time,” and move on with this great new community I had built in recovery. I was participating in every area of my life except my House, I never attended any OH meetings or events, and it started to have an effect on my life. Our outreach worker came to our House meeting one week and warned us that if we didn’t start participating, we could all find somewhere else to live.

After a very tough decision and months of fear, I moved to Oxford House Longfield; where I flourished. Over the next almost 2 years I became involved, I went to events, I was eager to learn everything I could about the Oxford House Model. I became chair for Chapter 11 and went to my first convention. I became immersed and passionate about everything Oxford House. I became helpful and responsible; a person who could be called on for a solution. Oxford house gave me much more than a place to live; I was given confidence, skills and patience as I learned to be an adult in recovery. I was even given a position as a Peer Advocate of Wake County. I get to spend my days being helpful and giving hope just as it was given to me by Oxford House. I’ve never been so honored to be a part of something. Thank you, Oxford House, for welcoming an alcoholic like me, for trusting an alcoholic like me; and for teaching me things I will carry for the rest of my life.

I was addicted to opiates for more than 12 years before coming to Oxford House. I had a great childhood and was very athletically talented. So, when I went to high school and was too small to go out for football, it made me feel as though I didn't fit in. I did wrestle and enjoyed that for my first two years of high school. It all started the summer after my sophomore year when I hit a growth spurt and gave up on wrestling. So, I began using drugs and selling them to fit in with the skateboarders and rebels. In my mind I was the man and I found my identity in getting people the stuff they needed. This identity would keep me on this road for many years ahead. But it started in high school with marijuana, ecstasy and cocaine. Then, when I got out of high school, I met a guy who traded me pills for my cocaine and I saw just how people couldn't resist these substances and I decided to try them. Eventually, I was not even making any profit because I was doing all of my profit. To make a long story short, I lost connection and I needed relief from withdrawal and was introduced to heroin.

I was in and out of jail and rehab for the next 10 years and I would have short stints of sobriety here and there. So, in 2020, I started going to a MAT Clinic and I responded to an ad about housing because I was about to be homeless. My parents were moving and I was not invited. So I got an interview and got accepted but later got a call that I wouldn’t be accepted because a buddy I had used with was there and wasn't comfortable. Then I found another house even closer to the clinic and I got an interview and went for an in-person interview in February 2020 and I moved in on March 1, 2020. Neuse Timbers Oxford House gave me a great place to recover. Ig ot involved in service work for my chapter. This would eventually open the door for me to become an Oxford House Peer Advocate. They took a chance on me and made me feel like I had a purpose and identity again. This would lead me to another house that was in need of help. So I moved into Harps Mill in April of 2022. I moved out on February 15 of 2023. I am still a Peer Advocate and I will forever be indebted to Oxford House. It truly changed my life and has given me more than 3 years of clean time. Thank you, God, Oxford House and Morse Clinic (MAT), for giving me the tools that have given me the new life that I get to live today. ”

I was raised in broken households. I grew up with divorced parents and a father who has spent the majority of his life in active addiction. He would take me with him whenever he would go to pick up drugs, and I would be stuck in a house with him as he would then use. I knew what drugs and their effects were before I reached the 5th grade. After elementary school, I lived solely with my mom. In my early teenage years, I would smoke weed and drink occasionally at parties. I knew to stay away from drinking heavily, pills, and needle drugs because I refused to go down the same path my father did. Once I reached 19. I went through a traumatic series of events that resulted in me having an abortion. I then entered a period of isolation and terrible relationships to shove down the emotions and the pain from what i had gone through. I told myself for years I would never do drugs stronger than pot or psychedelics because I didn't want to spend my life in and out of treatment like my father had. However, one day an ex of mine brought cocaine over to my house and I knew I had found my escape from the heavy emotions caused by my childhood and the past year of trauma. I was hooked instantly and knew I had a problem. So, I then broke things off with that ex in the hopes of cutting cocaine out of my life. A couple of boyfriends later, I started a relationship with my smoke shop co-worker. Working in smoke shops, I had access to plugs that could offer whatever I was looking for. We started down a terrible path of using every day. A year later I was hiding my addiction from family, friends, and even my boyfriend. I was snorting up to two grams of cocaine a day; I had a deviated septum, and my nose was turning black.

I was 19; it was the day after Christmas and my smoke shop boss sat me down for an intervention. Two days after that on December 28th 2022, my family surprised me with an intervention of their own and I was sent to treatment in Asheville. I spent 45 days in treatment, and when I got out, I immediately went to sober living. I found a home group, a sponsor, and I stuck with recovery as I was watching friends from my old life, and friends from treatment return to use and pass away due to use. As I watched so many people leave my life, I used it as motivation to work harder on my own recovery. On Easter 2023, I made the mistake of returning to my hometown to see my old boyfriend, and I had a glass of Champagne. This relapse led me to have to leave my original sober living but Oxford House brought me in with open arms. I found a community of strong women whom I've built a bond – a bond I've never had before. I'm sober, with an amazing job, and I'm in an Oxford House of outstanding women. I'm finally seeing the miracles that so many people in recovery said to stick around for.

My name is Mike Mcguirt. I grew up in Charlotte, NC. I started drinking and smoking pot at 14 years old. I was in a very abusive house where physical, mental and other forms of abuse were commonplace from the people who were supposed to love and protect me. The alcohol and pot numbed the thoughts and pain of those experiences. I quit school and left home when I was 17 years old to get away from that environment. I got involved with selling and using cocaine along with many other substances and became a very violent individual. I was in and out of jail for the next 20 years. I inflicted my inner pain on other people to make me feel better along with the substances which masked any feelings of remorse I may have had. Through my addiction and mental health issues being untreated for many years, I lost many things including family.

At 19 years old, I went to California, running from some federal charges and quickly fell into the same old street life that I had been living in North Carolina. After a stint in the Los Angeles County jail, I decided that I should come back to North Carolina. I was quickly picked up by the FBI and was sent to federal prison for 2 years. I was released from federal prison in when I was 23 and returned to my violent drug addictive lifestyle for the next 20 plus years. I learned how to manufacture methamphetamine and began to make, use, and sell methamphetamine on an extremely large scale. I had it made and found the love of my life. My run lasted exactly one year.

I can remember telling the guy that I was with when I made meth for the first time that I was going to prison. That's exactly what happened. On February 21, 2009, four swat teams raided the place where I was staying and my run was over. They told me that they had spent 1 million dollars to arrest me because of my past and they wanted to be ready for anything. When I got into the back of that sheriff’s van, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief that it was finally over. I knew that I was going away for pretty long time and I was relieved to not have to live looking over my shoulder anymore. I was convicted on a host of charges and sentenced to 12-15 years in the North Carolina Department of Corrections.

At the near end of my sentence, I had to figure out where I was going when I got out. I had no family support or support of any kind for that matter. I had talked to a young guy on the prison yard about Oxford House. He had stayed in one in Greensboro. So, I sent a request to my case manager about Oxford House. She called me to her office one day and told me that I had a phone interview with Oxford House. I had a pre-screening interview with Jesse Wilson. I was really nervous because I felt like, with my prison history of violence and gang activity, that no one would help me and I would be released homeless. That's the hopelessness that incarcerated individuals feel. Well, only by God's mercy, did Jesse accept me for placement into an Oxford House.

I was released from prison on November 19, 2019 and went straight to Oxford House Mayridge in Charlotte. I didn't know how to live in the free world anymore. I had lived in violence for so long that it had become ingrained into me. The guys at the house saw my distress and dragged me to it seemed like 100 AA meetings. Then I got a sponsor and started to actually work a recovery program. Things have skyrocketed from there. Now I work for Oxford House and with the man who decided to take a chance on a man like me. I have the largest family anyone could ever ask or hope for and real friends whom I love and respect for not only their accomplishments but simply for the people that they have become. I also have the privilege to go back into the same prison that I spent time at and help men that are serious about changing their lives get the opportunity to do so. I have been blessed in so many ways today. I will forever be grateful to Oxford House for being here to help the broken have a place to heal.

My name is Demetria Hunter. I am 40 years old and my clean date is December 7, 2021. What that looks like for me is: I haven't had a drink or any mind- or mood-altering substance in 537 days! I came to Asheville in 2018 after doing a 3-year prison sentence. For 23 years I had abused drugs and alcohol because I thought that was the life I had to live to survive.

I've had childhood traumas since I could remember (5 years old). As I grew up, I began committing crimes to survive life and to afford the constant abuse of drugs and alcohol. I continued to spiral out of control until the above clean date. One day after I couldn't find another bottom to hit or create, THE PAIN GOT GREAT AND I SURRENDERED! I found the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous, and it has saved my life! During this time I have been employed, obtained an NC driver's license, and now lease a vehicle. My credit score is climbing, and I have a checking account. These are the things I either lost during active addiction or never had at all.

In April of 2022, I completed SAIOP(substance abuse inpatient/ outpatient program), DWI assessments, and driving cases were either dismissed or taken care of after 7 long years pending. As I stayed free from all mind/mood-altering substances I decided to further my education in Peer Support through the Sunrise Community and Wellness Organization. In June 2022, I successfully completed a Peer support course called Peer University. At the end of the course, I was offered an internship for Outreach Programming in which I took part for several months. In August of 2022, I had the opportunity to take the CCAR Training course which, at the time became very overwhelming and I thought I wouldn't make it through it. But I kept going and graduated with an amazing group of men and women who continue to show me why I've stayed. In September of 2022, I had the opportunity to take the North Carolina Peer Support Specialist Training course which was very intense. This was a major turning point in my recovery. I began to see my assets and contributions to the community. I was able to understand fully why I'm here.

Today I am an Outreach Worker for Oxford House, Inc. It has been a journey and a lifetime to go. With my 12-step program, my sponsor, and such a great connection and network of people, I can live fully and whole one day at a time! I AM DEMETRIA HUNTER. ”

I have been using for ten years. I had tried rehab and doing it on my own a few times but never got far. Since I've been living in an Oxford House, I've been clean six months; I've got a job; I've gotten my relationship with my family back and its better than ever. I've got a job where I work with kids that I never thought I would be able to have. I'm lucky that I got the opportunity to move in my Oxford House. I truly believe I have made it this far due to the connection to the women in my House.

“I fought a long 20-year battle with addiction. From alcohol to meth and back again. I hated my life and drugs only made it worse. One day I decided that enough was enough. Honestly, I looked in the mirror and was horrified at the skeleton that was looking back at me. Well, thank goodness that my higher power is a kind and loving and faithful God. That was January 5, 2021. I went to jail that day for an outstanding warrant. I was able to detox and start eating better while I was in jail. I also decided I had to take action now because if I went back to the streets, I was gonna die and I wasn’t ready for that. I wanted to live. So, I begged the judge to send me to rehab. He agreed and I was released to go into a year-long faith-based treatment. During that year, I struggled a lot. Surrender of the mentality we are accustomed to isn’t easy. But, I learned to let go and let God.

I have a little over 2 years clean now and I’m not looking back. I like the person I see in the mirror now. I have a long way to go but God says He has a plan for me so I just keep grinding it out and doing the next right thing. I didn’t get clean on my own. There are lots of people who pushed me and gave me hope throughout the process. And I could not have even put one foot in front of the other without my higher power. He gives me strength and courage to face every obstacle head on. I am overcome by His grace and His goodness.

Oxford house has made a HUGE impact on my life in recovery. What good does it do to stop using if you continue to be miserable??? I ended up spending an extra year at the treatment center. I worked as a staff counselor and enjoyed helping others. But I decided it was time to face the world and I found myself in sober living. After bouncing around from house to house and being ready to give up, I found Oxford House. I had a great conversation with Jimmy and moved into OH Dagobah a couple of days later. Now I’m surrounded by family on a daily basis. We have a tight-knit house and I feel at home there. OH has definitely improved my outlook on recovery and has given me peace for today and hope for tomorrow. God bless.

Prior to August 1st I had never considered the possibility of getting clean. I went to treatment for 3 months and while I was there, I was strongly urged to not go into Oxford House. My care team did not think I was ready for it. Being the stubborn addict I am, that made me want it even more. I reached out to several areas. After talking to one of the outreach workers in the triangle, she urged me to look into Wilmington. Man, did that change my life.

I arrived at College Rd Oxford House the same day I left treatment. I was immediately welcomed and felt at home. I was surrounded by women around my age with the same goals in life – to get our shit together and stay clean. I immediately got involved with housing services to help me break out of my shell. When I came into OH, I was shy and quiet. I kept to myself. Once I joined HSC and learned the OH way, I started to blossom into the kind of woman I always wanted to be but never knew how to be. I started internally in my own house that was struggling and eventually branched off to help other struggling houses. My HS Chair took me under her wing and trained me how to provide service to our community and how to support and encourage houses.

I’ve been part of multiple house clean-ups and rebuilding. I was blessed with the honor of being asked to help open a 5th women’s house in Wilmington. I am now running for HSC Chair. I love everything OH has given me. I love the growth it has inspired in me. I’ve never been the kind of person who could understand principles over personalities and now, because of the OH way, I’ve learned how to accept constructive criticism and how to give it. I’ve developed a family not only with in my house but with the other 16 houses in Wilmington. Because of the principles in OH, I’ve become a dependable employee at my jobs that I’ve been working at over the last several months without quitting or getting fired. I’ve been able to be a mom to my children. I’ve been able to be a sister to my younger siblings. I am finally returning to the daughter my parents raised and missed so much while I was using and becoming a walking corpse. Today I am alive. Today I am clean. Today I can give back to this recovery community to help the next drug addict or alcoholic coming in fighting for their lives to find a new way of living. OH will forever be my home even when it’s time for me to move on into the next chapter of my life. Oxford House is the turning point of my life thus far and the gratitude I have is indescribable.

“I was Introduced in late 2021 to Oxford house and I stayed and was at the Grace house from September until February. I worked and remained sober while there but I didn’t go to meetings or get a sponsor or do anything to help my recovery. I just worked and slept and stayed to myself. I ended up being dismissed in February of 2022 because I had a positive drug screen for alcohol I knew I hadn’t drank but still was dismissed. So, I went and got a hotel room and within two days I decided that, since I had been accused of drinking, then I may as well do it. Had I been working a program I probably would had never made that decision; however, that’s what I chose to do and within 4 hours of taken my first drink, I had crashed my vehicle into three other cars. I broke both legs and didn’t know if I’d ever be able to walk again. That sent me down a very dark road and I was introduced to fentanyl and continued to drink even after I just went through all this. I was so mad. And I pointed fingers at Oxford for having me leave over a false positive; however, they didn’t make me relapse or take that first drink. My relapse lasted almost 9 months to where I had overdosed 3 times within a week. I did all those things I swore I’d never do. The pain finally got bad enough to where I still was in a wheelchair, and I just wanted to be sober again and so I did what I was taught to do and I reached out for help. I was in a motel room nasty with bugs and just that feeling of being loaded, scared and lonely and me asking God to get me thru the night and I’d reach out for help then next morning and so that’s what happened.

I made a call to some friends in an Oxford House and within 30 minutes they were there three cars deep and had me out of that motel room within 10 minutes. I went to detox and then I put my pride aside and called Indra house in Hickory and got an interview and they accepted me here. I’ve been sober almost nine months now and I’m finally walking again and out of a wheelchair. I still have a long road of recovery with my legs but, within 3 months of getting sober, I was able to finally after almost a year of being in that wheelchair, to take my first steps. My first steps were to a meeting of all places. Oxford House gave me a second chance and for that I’m truly grateful.

I think I needed that relapse and I needed to be humbled and go through what I did so that I don’t go back. I try to be of service and work an honest program and be an example to the other women coming in. I still have a long way to go but I’ve learned it’s not a race and it’s okay to have bad days as long as I don’t use – no matter what. I’ve met some solid women in recovery and I’ve opened up so much more this time. It’s still hard for me but I’m doing it and I have Oxford House to thank for that because they’ve loved me while I’m beginning to love myself. I was Blessed to be able to go to the state convention and I learned so much about Oxford house and what they stand for and just seeing such pure joy was amazing. I never want to forget where I came from and I want to remain grateful and so I will continue to grow in Oxford House and continue to be of service and stay sober one day at a time.

My name is Carlton Pannell and I have been in Oxford House since October of 2022. I have grown tremendously in my recovery since I've been in Oxford House. Along with the NA fellowship and my Oxford House family, I am reaching goals that I never thought I would achieve. Oxford House has given me a safe clean environment in which to work on my recovery and learn how to become a productive citizen. I have been able to maintain a job, pay my bills and help others. I am grateful for Oxford House and will continue to be part of this great organization for a long time.

I was born on January 5, 1998. I am 23 years old and a Native American. I grew up in Robbinsville, NC. I have two brothers. Growing up, I was always around my parents’ friends who liked to throw parties every day and drink beer. My parents would argue and fight every weekend and cops would get called. That led my dad to beating my mom up. When I was between the ages of 6-7, I went to Cherokee with my dad for the weekend and my cousin Punky and I were in the bath together. My dad was so drunk and he came into the bathroom where we were and yanked Punky up out of the bath and forced himself into her. I remember us screaming and my Aunt Michelle came running in. After this incident happened, I was not allowed to go back around my dad. A couple of days later, my aunt called my mom and told her that the feds picked up my dad at work and now he was in custody. Maybe two months later, we were sitting in a federal courtroom with my dad being sentenced to 15 years in prison for raping my cousin. After this happened, my mom’s drinking got worse so eventually my brothers and I got placed among family. We stayed away for a year from my mom until she proved to courts that she was fit to take care of us. She immediately moved us to Candler, NC and married my stepdad, John. Eventually, after living in Candler for a school year, we moved back to Robbinsville with John. During this time, my brothers moved out and got their own place. I couldn’t visit them unless John agreed. Also. when we moved back, my mom’s health started to decline. In 2009, she got put on dialysis; she had to go 3 times a week to get her blood flushed out. Being n school and trying to take care of my mom was really hard. She lost her eyesight so she always needed help with walking places and I was the only one there to help her. Later on, we moved back to Snowbird and she bought her own house. I was still going to school and taking care of her. I ended up graduating in June 2016.

I moved out of my moms and moved to Bryson City NC. Whenever you graduate high school, the tribe gives you a big amount of money. I got a check for $127,000 and met my kid’s dad, Jordan. At the time I didn’t know he was so heavy into his drug use that I used to buy his drugs for him. At this time I was experimenting with weed and then later on I was doing roxy 30s, meth and Fentanyl. I was buying bulks of weed and 30s to sell. I ended up getting pregnant. I eventually moved back with my mom and lived and took care of her. During this time of me moving in with her, she decided to quit going to dialysis because the doctors told her that it wasn’t working for her. She knew I was pregnant before I even told her. At the beginning of April, she went on hospice. I was the only one who she allowed to take care of her and give her morphine. She passed away on April 8, 2018, three months before my son, Phillip, was born. On July 29, I was admitted into mission for appendicitis. While in the hospital I had gotten my appendix out and not a day later I gave birth to Phillip naturally. During my hospital stay, I had numerous surgeries such as bowel obstructions and messing with my intestines and later I got sepsis. During this time, I had flatlined on the operating table and they called my family in to make a decision. I ended up on a ventilator. Coming out of coma, I had to learn how to write and walk again. I have never seen so many people in my life who cared so much about me. Phillip got placed with his grandmother until I came out of the hospital. Whenever I came out of a coma, the police department was there to get my side of the story. My older brother Joe had gotten locked up for touching his girlfriend’s daughter. The police came and asked what I remembered him wearing and how he would act whenever he would come and see me. He is currently in prison now until 2029 so he got 12 years.

I went back home with my family and took Phillip with me. During this time, I still did not give up on drugs. i was still trying to function while taking care of him. Jordan and I tried raising Phillip in trap houses until finally safety got involved. I was so into following his dad around that I didn’t care to see him or send him presents. I was so far gone, living in trap houses and sleeping on couches. I started shooting fentanyl and meth and got locked up in jail for violating probation. I eventually moved away from Cherokee to Sylva, thinking i could just do a little.

I started calling around Asheville, got accepted into a respite home and then, a week, later got accepted into an Oxford House. Oxford house has changed my life and living with strong women in recovery helps and gives me hope. While being here, I had stuff brought to my attention that I didn’t realize I was doing. Oxford House helps me be more involved in my recovery and do service work. Oxford House is a new way of life if you apply yourself and are willing to do the work.

I stayed in an Oxford House before and had over 18 months when I left. Stayed clean for another 9 months, then I relapsed. I decided to come back for the accountability.

My name is Kimberly VanDyke. My recovery date is 4/24/2023. I've been a member of the Winstead Oxford House in Rocky Mount, NC since April 23, 2023, and I am truly grateful for each and every day.

I remember the day I had a newborn and a one-year-old and I calling my mom and telling her I needed her to take temporary custody of my children because of the relationship I was in and wanting to get out and being in fear that I could not care for my children alone. If I left, I was walking away with nothing but the clothes on my back because the house and vehicle belonged to his family. I feared his family taking my children away and splitting them up or even my never seeing them again if I chose to leave and knowing that I couldn't stay because I was unhappy. I contacted my mother and she said yes and drew up the papers. The day I went to see the lawyer I remember holding my youngest and looking at my oldest and saying to myself that this will be ok; however, it wasn't. As I signed the papers, my soul left my body, I handed my boys over and went outside. I hit the ground and cried. What had I done? But, at this moment, I knew I couldn't take care of them on my own; I couldn't even take care of myself, so this was the right decision – or was it. This was the start of my addiction. I've been an addict and alcoholic since that very day; I would get clean and sober every time I went into jail or prison or get sick and tired to the point of going into rehab; however, every time I got out I always found myself in the same situation and would relapse. During my journey of addiction, I fed into prostitution, stealing, lying, and no true friendships. Everything was about a dollar, ride, or one way or another to feed my addiction. I didn't care for others, I didn't even care for myself. I guess it's safe to say I was aiming for death. I couldn't tell what was real and fake. I didn't care. Men came and went, friends came and went, and I went through homeless, being raped, abused, and broken, but none of this ever mattered. I didn't like the person I had become. My life was a lie. I lied to the people I loved and to anybody that bothered to ask me a question got the same. The worst lie is a lie I told myself, the biggest one was it's all going to be okay and I am ok, but was it? Was I? I came to a fork in the road, death, and imprisonment, everything was a one-way road and that road was my way, I lost self-respect, I hated myself, I hated everybody, but the one thing I really lied about was that I loved my children. Don't get me wrong, I did and do love my children, however as I sit here today, I remember all the broken promises, the holidays I missed, the tears my children cried when I said I would call or be there, and never did. I remember my boys refusing to go to sleep one night as they told my mother, “My momma said she is calling me to pray and talk“, my boys cried themselves to sleep that night as my mother held them and she cried too. I gave my family a number of endless nights worrying about where I was, am I ok, am I dead or alive, or even where to start looking for my body, so many times they prayed I would get picked up and people would actually let me sit there and stop getting me out. That was my biggest thing every time I got locked up. I always found a way out, through lies and prostitution and again my addiction. I can say my addiction always had a different idea for me than God had for me, but I see today that I had to experience and live that life to be able to be where I am and be able to help myself and others.

On April 23, something within me sparked and I cannot explain it. It was something bigger than me, but it was powerful. I surrendered and contacted the Oxford House with both feet and full force. I was tired and it was time for a change. I got accepted in and the tears began to fall although my addiction still tried hard to play with my mind. On April 24, 2023, I packed all my items and sat them on a corner waiting to be picked up to start my new road of recovery at the Winstead Oxford House and I was letting nothing stand in my way. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know how to act. I was all in and quickly realized this was what I needed. The ladies really welcomed me in and, at this point, it was my first REAL time at not only recovery and myself but true friendships that are going to last a lifetime. I am forever grateful to the woman, outreach, and Oxford House as a whole. I am pushed to be all I can be and I am truly grateful for that. I feel that sometimes we may get stuck and, when we get stuck, we need a reminder to be all that we can be and offer ourselves more. That is where friendship comes into play. My friends offer me advice, suggestions, a listening ear, and the power to be all I can be. This testimony and the ability to be able to tell you all my story is one!

Today, on July 7, I'm 75 days clean and sober, becoming a productive member of society, realizing I have strong leadership skills, getting dentures after 16 years without, being baptized on July 16, seeking better employment as I am currently a crew trainer management at McDonald’s full-time, working on a relationship with my children and family, the possibility of a position at the hospital and every day growing and improving more and more. I have a sponsor with whom I am working my steps. A lot of people in the house as well as outside look up to me in more than one way and sometimes I don't know how to take it, but I do gratefully. At one point, I didn't even want to be in my own skin. Now it's crazy to me when newcomers say they just want to be around me or that they look up to me or come to me for advice, today I was asked how do you get to be so positive and beautiful. My answer was gratitude, the program, and friendships, but also a look in the mirror as a reminder of how far I really have come. Although my life is a working process and I know all will come within the right time, My life is amazing today, I love Kimberly today and I truly love myself; I work and try to help others every day as well as myself. Today I am grateful to be alive, clean, and sober, and I love myself for I am finding out that I am an amazing individual, and I am here to say recovery is possible if you are willing and only want it. Don't allow anybody or your past to hold you back from what you are designed to become. You are amazing, give yourself a pat on the back for you are doing the thing, keep pushing!

Hi. My name is Christina Cross. I am 48 years old. I started using at age 13. My life consisted of anything that made me feel better. I continued to use off and on using different substances and then quitting just to pick up another in its place. It was not until I turned 42 years old and ended up in prison (A gift) that my life would take a drastic turn. I met many different people who would come and share good news to us. These same individuals picked me up from the prison and brought me to their homes. As they looked for a home for me, the Oxford House was suggested. I was scared as ever to be put in a home with people I didn’t know. I had been kicked out of so many places and the ones I didn’t get kicked out of, I ran from. Our Oxford House had an outreach worker living in the house and she told me that I had to hit the ground running, if I wanted to make it.seemed like I took that seriously and got a job, a sponsor, and had the Oxford policy as direction of how to live in a house and respect others; how to clean; how to make my bed and even how to stay still long enough to feel pain and be ok. There are so many gifts that were received just by walking out to the best of my ability the Oxford way.

I stayed in the Paramount House for 3 years and now I rent a house. The job I started at $7.50 an hour now pays me $18.50 an hour. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and are now in a position to own our own home. All just from showing up, the best I could (not perfectly) and sticking and staying. I am forever grateful for being given an opportunity to live in a beautiful home, safe from drugs and alcohol and having accountability to get this thing called recovery. Thank you, Oxford!

Hello my name is Jessica Scollins. When I first heard about Oxford House, I was unsure about it but I’m very glad I decided to take the advice from my peer support from my IOP class. That class was life changing. I learned a lot in there that I use everyday. I moved into my first Oxford House on Monday, October 24, 2022. I’m now coming up on 11 months of being in Oxford House. When I first moved here, my role was to be chore coordinator, so that was something that I was familiar with. Then as time went on, the rules were tough. Having a curfew makes sense and I’m glad that I decided to go through with it. It took me about 3 months until I landed a solid job with 40 hours a week. I’ve been a Flooring Specialist at The Home Depot and I absolutely love my job. They always say the hurricane comes before the sun. The struggle was real; moving to Raleigh was huge, let alone moving into a house with women. Living in Oxford House has shown me a lot like “Jessica, you’re not the only one going through something and you’re not perfect.” Saying the Serenity Prayer at every House meeting really hits different in my life now. I was put on contracts in Oxford House but I listened to the consequences and actually sat with myself and I have learned a lot, about helping the next person. I’ve done a full circle. I volunteered at a thrift store I’m familiar with and, for once, it felt good in my life to give back. I also attended my first 3 mandatory Chapter 21 meetings and signed up to be the Chapter Secretary and I love it. I have a place in the chapter and I have a voice. Within 5 months of being the chore coordinator, I was made the treasurer of the house and this is where I learned how to budget and have a game plan for the important bills that held priority of the house. Then I was nominated by the chapter to attend the OXFORD HOUSE STATE CONVENTION. I SHARED LEADERSHIP & SHARED RESPONSABILITY. Having the privilege to attend an Oxford House convention was an opportunity of a lifetime and I learned a lot. GOD IS GOOD. After my 6-month term for that role. I was made the check signer of my house and made the housing services committee member and I think that is the best role I could have gotten. I’ve also been nominated to attend the Oxford House World Convention in September; by then, I will be 10 days away from a year sober.

Moving into Oxford House was handsdown the Best Ultimate decision I’ve ever made in my life. It has shown me so much of who I am as a person and what I’m really capable of. I’ve amazed myself and I’m so proud of myself and where I’m headed I’ve made life-long sisters in Oxford House and I continue to help the next person. It’s an overwhelming feeling of JOY when you take you out of self and put your focus on the newcomer. I love my sobriety, my sponsor, my family, my house, my job, my Oxford House Alumni. Every day I Thank God for the life I live. Its because of Oxford House that I can help spread the word. My name ‘Jessica’ means ‘By the Grace of God’; ‘Scollins’ means ‘To be of service to others.’ I’m here loud and proud living out my name.

HELLO! My name is Brooke Jackson and I am a grateful recovering addict! I am writing this letter to express my gratitude to the recovery process and how my journey in Oxford has impacted my life and my recovery. I started my recovery journey in July of 2019 by going to treatment. I did a lot of relapsing and had a lot of stays in hospitals and institutions, all the while remembering recovery and what it could bring to my life if I really gave it a chance. In December of 2019, I decided to make the conscience decision to go to treatment again after a 4- month binge because I got tired! I was ready to give this thing a chance. In early February of 2020, I came to the conclusion that I needed to take another route and decided I needed to be somewhere where I could solely focus on myself ,and develop skills of independence so I could function like a normal adult in society. The treatment program I was in was a good program; I won’t deny that; but the notion of being my sisters’ keeper to the point where if I saw someone doing something off the wall or out of character, I needed to hold them accountable, even if holding that person accountable disturbed my mental health, became too much causing an actual decline in my mental health was leading me to being hospitalized. I had no problem holding my peer accountable, but it began to be excessive to me because I found myself so worried about pointing out other people’s flaws and character defects that I wasn’t looking at myself, and the part I played in things. It triggered me because my whole life in addictive addiction that was a huge character defect of mine, worrying about others and not worrying about myself.

So, one day I heard a few people talking about Oxford House and I did my research and asked a lot of questions. From my understanding, being in Oxford would give me the opportunity to grow independently and develop skills to readjust to the normal world all the while abiding by rules and structure. And I was okay with that. I understood that I was still have to hold people accountable but it gave me space to just focus on me, and growing and learning myself and how to coincide with those around me. I joined my first Oxford House in February of 2020. I was a nervous wreck but was anxious to start a new venture in my life. The Oxford house gave me a sense of peace, it made me feel like I belonged again.

Since 2020, I have relapsed countless amounts of times. I found myself tired, but not tired enough to give it my all until November of 2022 when I got back in recovery and got into another Oxford House. Something about this go-round was so different in a positive way. I said to myself “This must be a special place because no matter how many times I’ve left, I was welcomed back with open arms”. I’ve encountered a few bumps in the road but NEVER gave up. Living in Oxford has taught me unity, unconditional love and respect for others in this process. I’ve obtained leadership skills and most of all my life in recovery has prospered so much. I love helping the newcomer get adjusted because I understand how it is being new and scared of what is yet to come. Having a warm smile greeting you coming into a new experience can put all that fright at ease.

At first I struggled with the thought of living with a whole bunch of other women that I didn’t know, until one day I realized we all have one special thing in common, we all are fighting to stay clean and change/save our lives and that alone put my soul at ease. Since being in Oxford I have managed to stay clean; I work; I am enrolled in school full time getting a business studies certificate and I have aspirations to go back to school after I have completed that. I have dreams of being a substance abuse counselor. I have my children back in my life, my relationship with my family has improved and, most importantly, I have unconditional love for God and myself as well. These were all things that I did not have while I was in addictive addiction. I can honestly say being in an Oxford House has saved my life and for that I am forever grateful!

I sacrificed to stay sober. If I give up all I love in order to be right, some would say I was selfish. I would say, No I was selfish when I was running down dope, getting locked up away from all I loved. At least now I can be more a dad then I was ever before. I had to give up what I thought was my life anyway but, remember that Jesus said, “Let the dead take care of the dead” so I was dead only to be brought back to life, thanks to what the Oxford House had to offer and being led by God. I love the fellowship; the compassion to help when one may be about to fall; to feel safe when I can't remember ever really feeling safe in who I was; the freedom to help guide and support the people in our house. I have so many more things to say but I just think it's already in front of us – God's purpose to love and to stand. I love all of you.

My name is Steve Dover and I'm an alcoholic. My sobriety date is December 28, 2018. Looking back on my life, the first time I drank alcoholically, I was about 14/15 years old. I was at a friend's house drinking whiskey and Coca-Cola and when we ran out of pop, I kept drinking the whiskey. I went home and threw up on my brother, and my parents didn’t make me go to school the next day. So, incidentally, it went without consequence. As the years went on, other things started to enter my life such as drugs. Years went by that I didn’t drink but not a day went by that I wasn’t on some sort of mind-altering substance. As the kids got older, with police knocking on my front door, my drug use slowed down and I found alcohol again. That’s been over 20 years ago. Then commenced the daily drinking. Not every day was heavy drinking, but it was daily drinking. Fast forward to 2014, my wife passed away; she was not an alcoholic. So, to me, my voice of reasoning was gone. I began drinking to oblivion daily.

By 2016, I made my first trip to the hospital. There, a man brought the message of AA to my room, and when I was released, I asked him to sponsor me, and he agreed. I was probably the worst sponsee that walked. I lied to him, and I don’t know how many times my sobriety date changed in the next ten months or less. I called him on November 09, 2016, and told him I would call him back in 2 weeks. The next time I called him was from the same hospital as he first came to visit me. He told me when I was ready to call him again. So, I ended up from that point on just going to work and going home to drink. Then, in December 2018, I went to the emergency room in Pawhuska and, just like out of the book, I begged the doctor for help. He sent me to a detox for 10 days and they told me there that my best chance for sobriety was to go to rehab. So, from there I went to Valley Hope in Cushing. At that time, they had an open campus; you couldn’t leave the city, but you could go to town. I was so afraid that I would drink that when I was asked to go places, I would say yes but when the time actually came, I would hide in my room.

My caseworker told me that my best chance at sobriety was to move into a sober living house. There were some groups bringing a message into the rehab and Oxford House did a presentation. Some guys from the Oxford House Veritas in Stillwater brought the meetings into the rehab center with one of the groups and my caseworker contacted the House and they had an opening. They accepted me.

On the night that the group brought the meeting to the facility, some guys from that House carried the message in, picked me up and took me home in Stillwater. I started attending AA meetings. One of the men that brought the meetings to the rehab was also attending meetings in Stillwater and he became my sponsor. And as angry as I was with God, I had a safe place to start working the steps. By the time I did my 5th step, I was sitting in a double bedroom in an Oxford House in Stillwater and that was when I realized God did not make mistakes. What happened is he is a God of Mercy, he stopped my wife's suffering and put me in a place where I could work the steps and discover that working with others was truly what serenity was for. It’s been over 4 years and I still live in an Oxford House by choice. I want to make sure that the next person who is scared they will drink, or use has a safe place to come and work a program of recovery so they can teach someone what recovery is. And that every suggestion they give you, is really a way to get you closer to God.

I got out of prison as a re-entry guy in Enid Oklahoma as one of Misty Hahn’s guys at Citadel I was scared at first and was faking it to make it; just going to meetings to be able to stay and working my first legit job ever at boomerang diner on Oakwood. I was scared; I was nervous. I wasn’t really a part of the House until Misty came in one day and said that there would be a softball tournament against the sheriffs. I was still on parole at the time and had a bad rap with the police my whole life. She said this would be a good way to get back at the cops – lol -so I said. “Screw it; I’ll step out of my comfort zone and do it.” Boy, was I right! What is the best feeling in the world: playing against law-enforcement; sticking it to the man.” But that they changed my life forever and made me feel comfortable with who I was. It made me feel like I was worth something. It made me feel alive and from that point on I wasn’t faking it to make it anymore. I was becoming the person I wanted to be for the rest of my life, sober, happy and joyful and with more gratitude that I could ever possibly imagine.

I got a sponsor, and started working my steps and I set out on the mission that when somebody called me and said that they had a House in Norman that could use some guidance, I said, “Sure why not? It was closer to my family, so I packed up and I moved to Norman. I got actively involved and started putting my face out there, and, when the time arose, I stepped up at chapter elections with full intent to run for chapter secretary but then I heard that the Re-entry position was open. I said, “What’s that? I am a Re-entry guy. I know what that’s like. What’s the Re- entry position like?” Ashley told me that it was a lot of dedication, and I would be working with guys such as myself as they got out of prison and were trying to better themselves so I jumped on it. I ran and I won. It was the best feeling of my life. I had a purpose I had hope for once in my life; my life had meaning. I got my first reentry guy. He did really well. I got my second one and he did really good. I got my third one and he didn’t make it. He went back out but. you know what? As bad as it hurt, I didn’t let that break me down. I continued to get my name out there and I continued to help people and I continued to be the person that my higher power wanted me to be and the person that Oxford had taught me to be – a giver and somebody who had moral values.

Then another thing came along. The central Oklahoma State reentry chair opened up. Whoever got this, would be the first one in a long time. I ran and another guy and I tied. It came down to who had what ideas for this position. Oh, I was so excited because” Boy, did I have some big plans for this” and I got the position. Oxford has taught me how to step out my comfort zone and be somebody that I never thought I could be and helped me reach goals and achieve things that I would never in my life thought possible.

This is a place that I call home. I’ve been in Oxford going on two years. Am I ready to move out? Probably not. I still feel like I have some good left to do. Even when I leave Oxford, I will continue to show my presence and show my love for this place one day. I hope I get to work for the organization that saved and changed my life. I love my Oxford family and I wouldn’t trade you rejects for anything in the world!

I was already almost 18 months sober when I came into Oxford. I was employed as a manager at a restaurant. I was devoting most of my time to work and putting my recovery second. I realized I didn't want to slave away anymore and wanted my recovery to be the priority in my life. While in Oxford House, I became a peer support specialist so I could use my lived experience to walk alongside other alcoholics and addicts. I found out what it meant to be of service, and always said yes to commitments. I stepped up to learn what I could about Oxford so I could model a successful sober life to the girls coming in after me. I have done every position in my household and became involved in chapter as our auditor, then our treasurer and now I am our cochair. I learned how to show up for people and listen and be accountable. I had spent the entire time of my addiction fighting to live a better life for my daughter and I went from an intravenous user to a case manager in a local homeless shelter. I've built my credit up bought my first car and now I'm looking to move forward and join the Alumni family! I am so grateful to Oxford for teaching me how to be a productive member of society, for housing me while I changed my behaviors and all the women in my house for supporting me on my sobriety journey. The Oxford model is responsible for people overcoming the obstacles they faced after active addiction. We are so lucky to follow our predecessors. My name is Ariel and I am a grateful recovering addict. C+A <3

I first started using meth when I was 14 years old and that eventually led me to a car wreck where I messed up my back. The doctors gave me lots of opiates. Then, in 2014, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter Kaylee. So, I checked myself into rehab so that I could be a better person and mother for my daughter and she would have a better life. I had two and a half years clean when my mom got put on hospice. She died December 19th of 2019. I had two and a half years clean but 6 months after she passed away I end up relapsing from not dealing with her death. I would get a couple months clean here and there and then go right back to using. That led me to a bad place where I was held hostage; tied down; had my finger broken and had to escape with my daughter. DHS then took custody of my daughter.

I moved into Oxford House to get stable. Now I am working at Subway and I'm going to get my daughter back soon. I am now stable and doing wonderfully. I have lots of support at the Oxford House. I am the house service representative, so I take the applications and do interviews. It helps me to remember where my addiction took me. Now my life is better and it continues to get better every day and I continue to grow. I am now 61 days clean. And tomorrow I am filling out an application for Kik housing so that way I can get my daughter back. I want my recovery and I'm surrounded by strong people who live in Oxford who also want the recovery which helps. I take one day at a time and remember to work just as hard for my recovery as I did for my addiction.

A life-saving experience! When I arrived at the Cherry Grove Oxford House, I had never heard of or known there was such a place. I was warmly greeted the moment I walked in the door. As the days ticked off, I was reading and learned what Oxford House has to offer. I never planned on being in recovery but a few weeks. A week later I’m in the hospital. I have COPD and I had a flare up and off to the hospital I went. While in the hospital for 7 days, the guys in the Oxford Houses in the area got together twice to bring me a meeting. They cared. I got home and was welcomed back. It was a good feeling that all these guy’s actually care about my recovery. I enjoyed learning about and visiting other Oxford Houses. Soon I knew I was going to stay. I was getting to go to conventions that were all about Oxford House and cared about the men and women in them. I got really comfortable with our chapter and got more involved. I transferred to another Oxford House that was closer to the area of houses in our chapter and after I became the Chapter Chair.

I blamed the Oxford House for my new life – a life I’d never known. All I can say is, thank you, Oxford House. Because of you, I’m still clean – over 5 years now. Living on my own and going to meetings, I can still help the men and women that are newly coming to the program. I refer that the Oxford House is going to give them a better chance of making it. I’ll always be a alumnus and I always put the Oxford House in my story. Thank you, Oxford House. You made the difference 🙏😊